got my results....... and my prize ^^
i may be a little bit late cause i receive my results a month ago, but ... my uncle and his family come visit us suddenly , and ... well it was messed up, i was on my periods, it was hot, the house rooms were random and dirty, so that why i had to take care of the rooms and ... the kids xD
the results were cool, pretty chocking for literature subjects but i didn't really cared about them xD i focused more on science subjects and they were awesome, French was in between.
for the prize, it's (like always ) books xD but they are useful and great , now i just want to start spending more time on reading and fixing my French and English while i'm free and i got no tasks, sometimes i think in another way, like i maybe should take a rest and be more on internet , esp on my blog cause i got some ideas to share here , well my laziness stop me for doin any of reading or surfing ..
i can feel some kind of depression too, like after school ends, i feel lazy and tired, frustrated and useless, and even stupid and empty xD whatever, i try my best to fight those things and make my time full , but lately it get worse.....
i feel really sad and sick, i'm bored of everything, i get mad at everybody , simple things can makes me hysterical, i feel really weird like i'm out of this world, i got no feelings, better say that i become emotionally cold , i dont feel satisfied of myself, my body or my living ,i get jealous and super furious of somebody who got a better life than me ( i usually dont), i got some sudden serious doubts about my beliefs and my faith.
and by the way, yesterday night was the most stressing night that i ever lived, why?? cause i traveled for 7 hours ...... taking the bus, yeah the bus, without getting anysleep
our car is not working, and i really need to travel because i hate my city, i should change my location, it was actually my plan for along time ago, but my grandfather have some health problems wish pushed him to do an operation, so we stayed in our home.
we buyed our tickets in the morning, we packet our bags , then we go out to start our road at night, and ohhhh it was a disaster..
my dad was very angry and nervous, he was yelling at everything, my mother forget her phone, and me , i was trying to hide cause everybody (including students in college) watch me walking, it was annoying, walking around in that city is a nightmare.
i met (at least ) 2 students that were with me last year, 3 others in different classes, one of them even take the same bus as me (hell yeah ) .
the bus is here ,we start our road, i felt like i was in a ship and i'm goin to venus or march xD the seat was terrible, there's too many noises, and there is even snoring, i couldnt sleep, at all.
tho the view from the window was beautiful, and there was the moon and the sunrise and the clouds <3 there is even one nice guy that i met while our break , i really felt bad , uncomfortable, and very worried, i did even take the Holy Coran in my handbag, i never take it with me, this time is something completly different, i dont trust the driver, esp if he wasnt a pro and he works without getting enough sleep, because of all of this pressure, i was praying and saying "oh Lord please forgive me for all of my sins, i want all of this to end "
thank god it ended and we made it into my aunt's appartement, the first thing i did was eating then i go to sleep.
i wake up,my back and arms were burning with pain, i had a headache , my stomach hurt me and my toes were frozen, i couldn't even walk, i looked like i was on crack xD
anyway i start my day with opening my facebook to get sure that i'm not trending and there wasnt anypicture of me walking downtown, then i watched my favourite music videos so i can be more positive.
i'm still looking for the reason why i'm so depressed, i just hope it just because my periods are coming soon.
i really hope i'm gonna be alright.....
and by the way, yesterday night was the most stressing night that i ever lived, why?? cause i traveled for 7 hours ...... taking the bus, yeah the bus, without getting anysleep
our car is not working, and i really need to travel because i hate my city, i should change my location, it was actually my plan for along time ago, but my grandfather have some health problems wish pushed him to do an operation, so we stayed in our home.
we buyed our tickets in the morning, we packet our bags , then we go out to start our road at night, and ohhhh it was a disaster..
my dad was very angry and nervous, he was yelling at everything, my mother forget her phone, and me , i was trying to hide cause everybody (including students in college) watch me walking, it was annoying, walking around in that city is a nightmare.
i met (at least ) 2 students that were with me last year, 3 others in different classes, one of them even take the same bus as me (hell yeah ) .
the bus is here ,we start our road, i felt like i was in a ship and i'm goin to venus or march xD the seat was terrible, there's too many noises, and there is even snoring, i couldnt sleep, at all.
tho the view from the window was beautiful, and there was the moon and the sunrise and the clouds <3 there is even one nice guy that i met while our break , i really felt bad , uncomfortable, and very worried, i did even take the Holy Coran in my handbag, i never take it with me, this time is something completly different, i dont trust the driver, esp if he wasnt a pro and he works without getting enough sleep, because of all of this pressure, i was praying and saying "oh Lord please forgive me for all of my sins, i want all of this to end "
thank god it ended and we made it into my aunt's appartement, the first thing i did was eating then i go to sleep.
i wake up,my back and arms were burning with pain, i had a headache , my stomach hurt me and my toes were frozen, i couldn't even walk, i looked like i was on crack xD
anyway i start my day with opening my facebook to get sure that i'm not trending and there wasnt anypicture of me walking downtown, then i watched my favourite music videos so i can be more positive.
i'm still looking for the reason why i'm so depressed, i just hope it just because my periods are coming soon.
i really hope i'm gonna be alright.....
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