okay, the last days were random , well kind of, but they were good.
i had done some few tests in school, i been with some of my friends, me and my dad relationship is good.
there is just one thing that goes on my mind, it's my ex-lover.
yeah , u guys remember my old diaries, those stories of how much i suffer with him and blah.
but...
the last days , i met him sometimes and... well u can say i missed him, and we had fun together, we are actually better than the last time .... i maybe ..... still love him.... i dunno ...
he looks handsome, more than anytime, he is funny like always, his eyes are shinning like stars, and when he smile , it's like a bright light, he hold my hand more than once, he was surprised of how much my nails are big (my nails are big and long ), he said how much he missed me too and how much he like to see me more , he make me sure that i'm really impourtant to him.
you maybe say i'm such a stupid girl and how is this situation is pathetic, but i just can't do anything and i don't give a damn , i try to hide my feelings and forget them, but i can not do it, i don't really care about this alot be honest, i got more and different stuff to think about like my tests and my gymnastics show that i will present at monday morning, i don't really know by the way how i'm goin to do it, i still didn't fight my fear of some moves, like standing on my head or my arms , it's awkward.
my ex told me that it's hard but he support me and he is with me everytime i need him.
i don't know if i even will have a true relationship with him,but , i'm 100% that i will not stay forever with him or in this city, as i said i care about other things about my life, like studying , passing my tests, becoming a doctor.... .
i'm the kind of people who like to live free and alone for awhile but then i change my mind and call for someone to be with me and love me.
i'm crazy, that it, my life is random, my mind is random, my attitudes are also random..... and my bed room is of course random too.....
i really can't wait till all of this end, i be on summer, having fun, everything is fine, i got alot of pressure now, you won't imagine how big is my pressure, my birthday was two days ago and...
nothing was special except my bff bring me a gift , a super cool gift, she gaves me amazing lovely indian braclets , other than that ..... nothing much, everybody is expecting me to hold the biggest party in this city, but sadly nothing of that happen .
what i really want now is passing this year, i want to be the best, i want to be the first , i want to finish this and be satisfied of myself and be happy, thats what i really want, i hope Allah help me to live my dreams.
ليست هناك تعليقات:
إرسال تعليق